the land between the solar systems

i am lost.

not literally, of course. i can tell between left and right, know the street signs, and can decipher north from south. neither does it mean that i am hopeless or someone to forget.

i am just…lost.

maybe in thought. i have been thinking a lot, it could be debated too much, in the past few days. about the future, about me, about what i want.

i just feel that i start off in one direction, end up backtracking in the other, and then jump into another path before the ink’s dry on the first. i’m so flighty and agitated. indescribably so. why? why can’t i find a direction for my life, or even my train off thought, for more than ten minutes?

somebody said to me once that i was turning into someone else – it was almost scary. and it kind of killed my night – i am so frustrated with myself for changing in such a way. it has been a fear i voiced before. would all the changes i faced this summer be ones that would be accepted when i got home? apparently not.

i feel apathetic and ADD. and i hate it.

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