yellah Masr.

I’m halfway through my application to AUC‘s full year program. It’s terrifying me.
I hate applications, official looking forms, and the fact that I am putting my life in the system’s hands. Eggs in the proverbial basket, so they say. I just hope that there is a basket there when I keep chucking eggs into it because I have no idea what is going to catch them if Egypt falls through.

Meanwhile, I feel like I am waiting for my life to start – and at the same time stuck in a limbo that refuses to let me do anything about it. A limbo of my own making, mind you. It’s sad that the time when I really need the motivation and drive that a conference creates, I couldn’t get myself to one. I lack everything that I need to move on – drive, determination, motivation. I don’t know where I lost it, and I don’t know where I can reclaim it, either.
There is this invisible barrier between me and everything I want right now, and I don’t think I have what it takes to break it.


One thought on “yellah Masr.

  1. Maddie baby, if I was in the USA , after reading this I would hunt you down and drag you out on a hike, forcing happy thoughts down your throat, but since I’m not somebody better.

    Quit waiting and do something about your situation- at least your mental situation- have a backup!

    If you wait here in Kenya, nothing happens, it’s annoying as hell, we waited almost an hour for people to come hiking before me and the other TN’s just decided to go and see who would follow – it’s really the only way to get anything done.

    happiness is a choice, not a reaction- your call on that one

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