And it’s only the second day.
I have to admit, though, that I am so relieved that the semester is ending. It has been – I’m trying to think of an appropriate adjective here – arduous? difficult? soul-searching? – whatever its been, its almost over. I am ready for the new semester specifically because it is new – a lot of new things. A new apartment, a new set of classes, new people, new chances, new experiences. On the other side of December bright and shiny and new.
But that means I have to get through December first. And that means a lot of other things. I have to finish a paper by the end of the term, and give a presentation about another paper I have already turned in. I have two exams, but strangely not really concerned about either of them. I have to revise, edit, and prepare a portfolio of my writing, as well as write my own curriculum for my independent study for next semester. I have to move out of my apartment, and watch everyone leave me, again. My roommates, friends, everyone non-Egyptian, basically, heads back to the states this month. I have to watch everyone leave, again. And I spend Christmas when everyone is gone. And I have to wait until March to see anyone from my life back home. Sometimes, I don’t think my heart can take it.
Granted, December means Turkey. It means a break from school. It means I’m that much closer to going to London, and Paris. I’m that much closer to going home. I can’t tell what is closer and what is farther away – my perception has gone all distorted.
It’s scary. Everything seems so far away here. People, responsibility, the rest of the world. Everything just seems distant.
I’ve got to find a way to reconnect. Otherwise, this is going to be a long, long December.