It’s there. I can feel it – pulling right behind my stomach, an ache between my eyes, a general sense of boredom and knowing that this has all been done before.
I need a change.
And I guess the timing is about right – I know a major change is coming, and soon, and I have just been in one place for too long. And it’s not Egypt, I think, but AUC and everything that comes along with it. Because sometimes I will look out my window and see this amazing view and listen to the call to prayer coming from the green-lit mosques and I know, right then and there, that this is a moment, and I am in it and experiencing it and loving it, but it is fleeting and impermanent and one day, I will look out a window and I will see something else entirely. And that idea is already making me a little sad. But on campus, I feel like the apathy is creeping into me, the laziness and the lowered standards – I need to get out before it all latches on. I don’t feel like it is challenging me to grow – and if you aren’t growing, you’re dying.
And I am anxious because I don’t know what is coming. And I can’t really do anything about it from here. That this minute I have to throw my hands up, smile, and say insha’Allah. Although I wouldn’t say no to suggestions on what to do. Books to read, music to listen to, revolutions to start. It’s time for something new.